he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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