I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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