I wannas sexs uuuuu
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
