Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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