im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
