so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
