Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Randomize
