Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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