I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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