i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
