I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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