How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
