Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
50% drunk capacity currently
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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