somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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