break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
