she woke up with a sticky ear
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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