why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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