Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Barsexuality is the new black.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
