dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
