dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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