i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
