WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
