Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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