how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
