Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
