You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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