is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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