then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
