there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
