he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
