I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
