Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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