My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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