Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
