Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
