he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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