dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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