i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
