he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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