what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
