i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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