i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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