Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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