At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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