It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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