She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
