you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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