3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
