i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
