cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
