If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
