kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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