He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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