cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize