Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
