Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize