Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
