I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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