yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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