i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
