Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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