My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
