I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize