erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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