i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
