I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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