I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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