too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
