he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
